R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
