Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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