Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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