i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm at about main and main street
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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