So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
