2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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