It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
