I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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