i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize