I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
