dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize