Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
