Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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