I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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