So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
