I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
