who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
