I think I died a long time ago.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hippo gnu deer
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
