Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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