She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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