Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

420 ftw

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(607): View more from New York

Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like

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(509): View more from Washington

They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.

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(513): View more from Ohio

4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him

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(386): View more from Florida

And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur

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(440): View more from Ohio

We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode

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