she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize