By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just invented taco cereal.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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