your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
