My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
