i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
