If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
