every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Your penis caused this!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
