At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
