so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
