she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize