i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
