Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
