You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
