I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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