So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize