So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
