we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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