Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
