he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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