What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
