You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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