I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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