Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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