he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
