Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
