so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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