I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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