My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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