You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
