I think i peed on brittanys purse
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
