Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
