dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
