Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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