You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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