Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
