some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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