is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize