I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
