You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
