You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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