All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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