as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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