I like my sex mixed with concussions.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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