After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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