she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
