Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just want to make out with him forever
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
