she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
