please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
