yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
